Sex Talk + How Important Is Sex?

Lets talk SEX

Did you get the sex talk from your parents?
You know, the story about the birds and the bees or how you were mysteriously delivered to you parents doorstep or any other story parents used to explain sex and how we came into the world?

Well I never got the “sex talk” or the talk about your ‘aunt flow’ that comes to visit every month until it doesn’t talk – these were things I had to figure out on my own. I remember the first time we had the sex talk in school, I was in seventh grade and it was a very awkward subject indeed. By ninth grade I had everything figured out or so I thought. What I wasn’t sure about  Sex and the City came to the rescue during the latter parts of high school into college. But im happy sex education is now widely discussed and promoted.

But, back on the topic of sex.
Sex is one topic men and women can’t seem to see eye to eye with but, it is a very important aspect of every relationship – even more than we would dare to admit.
Lets face facts, your partner could be very romantic, loving and attentive but you cannot ignore the fact that they have a body that has needs to be taken care of and so do you.
Now I know what you are thinking, I’m only saying sex in a relationship is very important because I fall in the under forty age bracket. The truth is the response evoked from asking  “How Important Is Sex?” will be based on a variety of factors – age, gender, your relationship status (single, married, separated, divorced, the partner on the side…), your sex life currently (active or deprived)…etc.
My stats – I’m 28, a woman, single and im not having sex, emotions are very important to me BUT I still say sex is very important in a relationship.

So here are some reasons you should go have sex with your partner and why it is important…..

– sex is an emotional process
– sex is a stress relief
– you will sleep better
– it creates a glow and healthier skin (ladies you will be happy you did)
– it keeps our hormones balanced
– it targets our muscles and you can lose weight (based on frequency
and activity of course you can burn calories)
– it reduces pain (don’t believe me? have sex when next you have
a headache…you will be amazed)
– it makes you want sex more (so if you are going through a dry period, hop back on board and the frequency will pick up)
– it makes you HAPPY (hormones baby, hormones)

So there are more benefits to sex than just pleasing you or your partner.
Just remember to always practice safe sex EVERY TIME.

What do you think?
“How Important Is Sex?”

-LizzieJ

Dating in 2015

I don’t know about you but, I have been constantly wondering…
How do people date in 2015?

PS – If you have the answer, don’t be shy, PLEASE comment below as you may be possibly helping hundreds if not thousands of clueless people out there (including myself).

Dating…..have I actually ever dated before in my life?
Here is my dating/ relationship resume:

_________________________________

My first relationship – Marcus*
Lasted 2 years.
I was in high school in the 9th grade when it all began. I didn’t know this guy existed before then (and we were in the same class for two years prior) but my impressions were – really great guy, quiet, humble and he just may be good for me.
I wouldnt say he was my high school sweetheart but he was there.
Relationship ended when we graduated and I just didn’t hear from him again.

****
Then the rise of chat rooms and online groups emerged when I was in college and I would engage in conversations with guys via this medium.
***

Relationship #2 – Andrew* – he was 6 years my senior.
Lasted 3 years.
I met him on a dating website, he came to my town to meet me and without much “dating” we were in a relationship. I would visit him frequently and when I started university he convinced me to move into him. I wasn’t the most domesticated person at that time as I had my studies to focus on, I had to help him out with his assignments (he started university same time as me) along with helping him to run a business. Yes everything was a labour of love, but I had no time for me and no time for friends. Then the ONE TIME i needed him to help me out and have my back, he flat out said NO and that was the breaking point for me. Relationships should be about taking and giving – not one sided situations.

Relationship #3 – Victor* – he was twice my age
Lasted 2 years.
Yet again, I met him online – This relationship was long distance. We lived in different countries however, we managed to visit each other once a month. He was someone I was very attracted to, we both wanted the same things but he was carrying alot of baggage, hurt and he had serious trust issues. We made plans to be nearer to each other but that never materialized as his life wasn’t entirely his. He had a daughter and I felt like my life was constantly being put on hold.
We have remained very close friends to this day.

Relationship #4 – Sean* – twice my age
I dont think I have to tell you were I met him, as you probably already know – online. This was a guy who was moving to my city in a few weeks and he was looking to meet a friend. We met when he arrived, we hit it off and everything was great. Sadly he had to move to another country for work and when I thought that it would have been the end our relationship it continued for two year with a few visits in between. We then made plans to move in together – I gave everything up and moved in, things were great but his family did not approve and that relationship ended up being in limbo.

_______________________________________________________

Post relationship number two I decided to do things for me. I went out with my friends, I was at the beach every weekend, I attended parties, fairs, I went to the club, restaurants and bars, I started travelling…anything I could think of I just went ahead and did it without needing permission or approval from anyone.

I consider myself to be an attractive woman and I would dress up, show up and not have one guy approach me when I was out. Who knows maybe its western culture, but, it just never happened. Why are guys afraid to approach women? We don’t bite…well unless you want us to 😉
So that left me with online dating as my only option (unless someone else recommends something else). I must admit it has its pros and its cons but why do we feel the need to hide behind online profiles? Why are we consumed with social media and communication apps that when we are out we spend most of our time checking our phones and responding to alerts as opposed to getting to know or catching up with the person we are out with?
Have you ever been out and people watch? I do it ever so often and in a restaurant or bar filled with people at least 80% have their heads hanging while they check their mobile devices.

Now, we can’t expect different results if we keep doing the same thing. So if you have tried meeting people in person and tried online dating – what else is left?

How can you get to know someone in a world filled with so many distractions?
How do you meet people who are afraid of being themselves?
How do you date in 2015?

-LizzieJ

Three Sides of Love

There are THREE sides to everything in life.
Three sides to every argument, to every story, to every coin… everything really.

Well, I have learnt that there are also three sides to LOVE – what you think love is, what your partner thinks loves is and the TRUTH about what love really is.
Well, I don’t know you or your partner but I do know love and the truth about love and that’s what I am going to discuss with you today.

Love is a tricky thing. It is a strong feeling of emotions that can sometimes be the most beautiful thing in the world but, at the same time, it can be the most horrid thing ever known to mankind.

How is it that one thing can evoke so many opposite feelings?
Not even I can answer that question. But, one thing I can say – THAT is what makes love so beautiful. Love is the one thing that encompasses both darkness and light; it is also the closest thing to perfection any human will know.

So, what are the three sides of love?

LIGHT
This is the happy kind of love. The kind that breathes new life, the beginning of something beautiful, the kind you read about in fairy tales and stories, what you see in movies and watch unfold on reality tv, the kind that ends in happily ever after.

DARK
This is the sad kind of love. The kind that causes pain in every fibre of your being, that ends something beautiful, that will never amount to anything more than what it currently is, the kind no one likes to talk about, the wedging apart of two people who love each other the most.

THE TRUTH
One needs to understand the difference between love and lust.
Love is never enough to keep two people together.
There is no love without compromise because there isn’t a couple out there that loves every little thing about one another; they simply accept them.
Love is irrational and while it may seem to work for some time, the rational and real world realities will catch up with you eventually.
Because of all those intense feelings that comes with love it will results in partners making poor choices.
Everyone is carrying some baggage – If you can’t work through the baggage, sooner or later it will start to unpack itself and all hell will break loose.
Love scars cut deep and they are not easily forgotten
Sometimes you have to accept that you have to let go and allow the two of you to find others to love.
Given the right timing and two people willing to do the work – love can be the most painfully beautiful thing in the world.

MY ADVICE?
There is no guarantees in life or in love so I cannot protect you from the dark side or the truth even though I wish I could.
No one and no relationship is perfect.
Take your head out the clouds, ignore what you see on tv and understand that love takes time, patience and commitment.
Don’t forget to be true and honest to yourself, love yourself and stop trying to fit into the mould that society creates – only you can be the best YOU.
Don’t forget to continue to share your heart and you love with the world even though its been broken a few times before.

-LizzieJ