I don’t know about you but, I have been constantly wondering…
How do people date in 2015?
PS – If you have the answer, don’t be shy, PLEASE comment below as you may be possibly helping hundreds if not thousands of clueless people out there (including myself).
Dating…..have I actually ever dated before in my life?
Here is my dating/ relationship resume:
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My first relationship – Marcus*
Lasted 2 years.
I was in high school in the 9th grade when it all began. I didn’t know this guy existed before then (and we were in the same class for two years prior) but my impressions were – really great guy, quiet, humble and he just may be good for me.
I wouldnt say he was my high school sweetheart but he was there.
Relationship ended when we graduated and I just didn’t hear from him again.
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Then the rise of chat rooms and online groups emerged when I was in college and I would engage in conversations with guys via this medium.
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Relationship #2 – Andrew* – he was 6 years my senior.
Lasted 3 years.
I met him on a dating website, he came to my town to meet me and without much “dating” we were in a relationship. I would visit him frequently and when I started university he convinced me to move into him. I wasn’t the most domesticated person at that time as I had my studies to focus on, I had to help him out with his assignments (he started university same time as me) along with helping him to run a business. Yes everything was a labour of love, but I had no time for me and no time for friends. Then the ONE TIME i needed him to help me out and have my back, he flat out said NO and that was the breaking point for me. Relationships should be about taking and giving – not one sided situations.
Relationship #3 – Victor* – he was twice my age
Lasted 2 years.
Yet again, I met him online – This relationship was long distance. We lived in different countries however, we managed to visit each other once a month. He was someone I was very attracted to, we both wanted the same things but he was carrying alot of baggage, hurt and he had serious trust issues. We made plans to be nearer to each other but that never materialized as his life wasn’t entirely his. He had a daughter and I felt like my life was constantly being put on hold.
We have remained very close friends to this day.
Relationship #4 – Sean* – twice my age
I dont think I have to tell you were I met him, as you probably already know – online. This was a guy who was moving to my city in a few weeks and he was looking to meet a friend. We met when he arrived, we hit it off and everything was great. Sadly he had to move to another country for work and when I thought that it would have been the end our relationship it continued for two year with a few visits in between. We then made plans to move in together – I gave everything up and moved in, things were great but his family did not approve and that relationship ended up being in limbo.
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Post relationship number two I decided to do things for me. I went out with my friends, I was at the beach every weekend, I attended parties, fairs, I went to the club, restaurants and bars, I started travelling…anything I could think of I just went ahead and did it without needing permission or approval from anyone.
I consider myself to be an attractive woman and I would dress up, show up and not have one guy approach me when I was out. Who knows maybe its western culture, but, it just never happened. Why are guys afraid to approach women? We don’t bite…well unless you want us to 😉
So that left me with online dating as my only option (unless someone else recommends something else). I must admit it has its pros and its cons but why do we feel the need to hide behind online profiles? Why are we consumed with social media and communication apps that when we are out we spend most of our time checking our phones and responding to alerts as opposed to getting to know or catching up with the person we are out with?
Have you ever been out and people watch? I do it ever so often and in a restaurant or bar filled with people at least 80% have their heads hanging while they check their mobile devices.
Now, we can’t expect different results if we keep doing the same thing. So if you have tried meeting people in person and tried online dating – what else is left?
How can you get to know someone in a world filled with so many distractions?
How do you meet people who are afraid of being themselves?
How do you date in 2015?
-LizzieJ
Being Lizzie James 